


Pardon my French

by the_only_iris



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Attempt at Humor, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Romance, Sexual Humor, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-09-09
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:54:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 15,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25692397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_only_iris/pseuds/the_only_iris
Summary: ［Ｃｏｌｌｅｇｅ ＡＵ！ Ａｙａｔｏ ｘ Ｒｅａｄｅｒ］: Ever since his sister had deemed him a troglodyte, Ayato made a small effort to change that. However, that led him to you in a rather awkward exchange and he's been hellbent on going back to being a troglodyte if that meant he could stay away from you. You, on the other hand, were a happy-go-lucky college student enamored with Ayato's ability to turn any sentence to a profane goldmine and with that in mind, you were certain that you could kickstart your college life with some language building exercises with a rather hot tsundere with a snappy tongue.
Relationships: Kirishima Ayato/Reader, touka - Relationship
Comments: 7
Kudos: 37





	1. p r o l o g u e

ᴘʀᴏʟᴏɢᴜᴇ  
𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒔 𝒐𝒏 ❜𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒗𝒆❜ 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅𝒔

∙

"Please, go out with me!"

Ayato remembered the words his sister told him the other day. Try not to swear at people when they're asking something. 'Try' being the operative word.

So he did the best he could.

"F*ck, no."

The girl in front of him wobbled her way out of the corridor before leaving him there. He let out a breath before rubbing the back of his neck. _Try, my ass_ , he thought before ridiculously failing the small mission his sister had given him, before chuckling the entire thought train out the window of his psyche. It didn't matter, he didn't need to mind his tongue. There was no conference he was speaking in or a presentation he was giving, it wasn't like Ayato had to constantly monitor his thoughts just to please humanity.

It wasn't as if humanity was that deserving, anyway. 

He moved casually away from the corridor where his class was before exiting the college campus with ease. It wasn't as if he didn't have friends, Ayato went to college for a damn degree. As hard as it was for him to ignore the idiocy of adolescent hormones, he couldn't deny that his sister did scare him a little bit.' You're too anti-social!' She'd say, or 'Try making a few friends for crying out loud!'

_'What are you, a troglodyte?'_

Perhaps it was because he thought so constantly of Touka did his face have an everlasting resting bitch face.

As much as he wanted to listen to her words and agree that yes, Kirishima Ayato was a bit of a recluse, his effort in trying to make a change was close to zero. Meeting people wasn't the same as their father told stories of, it wasn't the 80's where there was an actual social life where people mingled with one another; now, everyone was focused on just one thing and as much as he wanted to behave according to what society expected him to behave like, there was no possible way he was ever going to try to charm a girl just to sleep with her. 

As soon as he reached home, he spotted Touka typing away something on the couch. She didn't even have to take a look at him to know it was her brother that had come home, but what she said made him wish he hadn't.

"Any progress?"

"Progress? For what—"

"You know _for what_. Ayato, it's getting ridiculous. You come home after every class, you have no one to talk to, you aren't a part of any club, I'm worried you're going to live a life of a hikikomori soon!"

"I don't even like manga," Ayato said, raising a finger in the air and pointing it dangerously close to his sister, "And I'm not going to become a hikikomori."

Touka narrowed her eyes dangerously before moving forward and placing her laptop on the side. Ayato sat down beside her and leaned his head back, but he knew his sister wasn't done talking.

"How many people did you talk to and what did you tell them?"

Ayato opened his eyes as his head rested on the backrest of the couch. Even though he didn't openly tell Touka that he remembered exactly how many people he had spoken to (one) and what he had said (f*ck no), somehow, magically, she had guessed the number.

"Ayato, if you don't want me to breathe down your neck, at least download this app called Tinder and meet someone through there."

He turned to his sister with nothing but malice, "Why the f—"

"Swear at me, I dare you." 

Ayato gulped before frowning and taking his phone out. 

"You know what," His fingers loomed over the screen looking for the App Store. "I'm going to," He clicked on the blue icon and typed in 'Tinder', "Do this," and pressed the download button, "Just to," he watched as the download moved to install and as soon as it was done, he swiped right toward the app, "Get you off my g*ddamn back."

Touka chuckled before leaning on his shoulder and said, "You'll need a Facebook account, douche."

He groaned before feeling the urge to throw his phone away. 

When all was set and done, Ayato didn't open the app for another two days. He had to apparently set a bio and upload some of his pictures so that people didn't think he was fake. All of this seemed so unnecessary that it made him feel queasy just to go ahead with the entire idea of meeting someone online. It wasn't that he was asexual, Ayato had made out with several girls in high school, but his interests ended there. As much as he liked the concept of dating, he wasn't too sure if it was entirely built for him.

He didn't want a girlfriend. He didn't want someone to speak to him constantly, hovering over him, and asking him to pay attention to him. For the life of him, he couldn't imagine being cuddly with someone, and it wasn't as if he inherited the affectionate gene from his father—both Touka and Ayato were in many ways anti-social, but Touka had mastered the art of communication, while Ayato chose a masters in computer applications instead. 

He sat in the library one Wednesday afternoon and opened the app. He was thankful that there was no one around and the silence of the library helped in keeping his head calm. Ayato had no expression on his face, he was merely existing, as his fingers grazed over his phone in trying to write the best possible (and shortest) sentence about himself on Tinder.

> _Am I cute? No. Do I have a nice personality? Also no._

Ayato rolled his eyes at the number of options there were to upload multiple photographs. He uploaded one. And in that one, he wasn't even entirely visible. 

_This is just to make sure my g*ddamn sister stays off my back._

Letting out a breath, Ayato noticed the 'loading' that appeared before a girl's picture popped up. Swiping left meant 'no', and swiping right meant 'yes'. Ayato did what Ayato did best and swiped left. He didn't bother to look at the pictures at all as his fingers did a masterful job of swiping left, almost as if he was made to do so. For a second, he paused at a particular picture, however, before scoffing at the bio.

> _pros:  
>  \- am open to sharing my Netflix account  
> \- can tie a cherry stalk into a knot with my tongue  
> \- can eat 20 chicken nuggets in one sitting_
> 
> _cons:  
>  \- a bit of a crackhead  
> \- nocturnal  
> \- can eat 20 chicken nuggets in one sitting_

"What an...idiot." Ayato said, as he swiped left.

"Ooh, a hard pass on that one?"

Ayato froze before turning to the source of the sound that suddenly came from right behind his right shoulder. This was when Ayato first saw you, your wide eyes looked rather amused at him just sitting there minding his own business, and you leaned back just as he discovered that you had found him swiping left on you and having called you an idiot.

You chuckled a second later before pressing your hands together, welcoming the awkwardness that you so casually spread around in the air. It didn't take an expert to discover that you were enjoying the situation you were in.

Ayato clicked his tongue before turning away and grabbing his things, but you pressed your hands on the table beside him, wanting to stop him from leaving.

"Hey, I'm just curious now on why that bio didn't work! Is it the chicken nuggets bit? Should I have been honest and have said 30 instead?"

Ayato glared at you before moving from the other side of the table and leaving. 

"Oi, wait up!"

You followed after him and he had no idea why he deserved his. He was going to delete the app just as soon as he reached home, wanting to avoid any other type of annoying situation this might bring in. You were now laughing as you jogged behind him, and even the sound of your laughter drove him up the wall. He turned around in one quick movement before snapping at you.

"I don't owe you shit."

You nodded, "Yeah, but I want to know why you swiped left. I'm a catch."

Ayato smirked, "Yeah, you'd think so."

You smirked before saying, "Is that why you have so many matches?"

His face hardened but you weren't done, "Oh! I was right? Oh man," you laughed some more before saying, "Why not take me out?"

"And why the f*ck would I do that?"

"Ooh, didn't mama ever tell you not to swear?"

"Well, pardon my French and leave me the f*ck alone."

You try to control your laughter as you say, "You know you can communicate without the need to rely on swears so much, right?"

Ayato turned around to walk off but you were right beside him now. Why were you following him? What did you aim at achieving? Dear lord, you were annoying.

"F*ck me." Ayato cussed under his breath before running a hand through his hair.

"Maybe later?" You said, snorting on your own little joke.

Ayato gave you a look before leaving you behind as you laughed at your little jape, but there was one thing that was entirely strange in this entire interaction. Why the heck were you following him?

He paused for a moment before turning to face you, whose gaze was on him with a rather proud look in your eye. Ayato cussed before walking off, desperate never to see you again, and at the same time, he was certain that the image of your grinning face was going to haunt him endlessly.


	2. c h a p t e r   o n e

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ᴏɴᴇ  
𝒑𝒍𝒖𝒎𝒔 𝒅𝒐𝒏❜𝒕 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌 𝒏𝒔𝒇𝒘

∙

In all of the 4 additional electives that Kirishima Ayato could have taken in his first semester, he picked 'Operations Management'. 

He believed that learning about business despite being a computer student could be an added advantage when it came to the job market; which was perfectly sound reasoning to have, however, picking electives meant one very vital factor. You couldn't change them after one week. 

It had been four weeks since college began, and Ayato was having a considerable decent time going back and forth and doing nothing. Touka's nagging died down a bit considering she got busy with her own graduate studies, but if she knew what Ayato was hiding from her, then there'd have been a discussion. It wasn't that he underestimated his sister's capabilities in maintaining her grades and giving him an earful for turning down a prospective date, it was simply that he didn't want to be reminded of you again.

The incident in the library where you were laughing your effing ass off at his face and reactions drove him up the wall; and the anger didn't die down right away. He was thankful Touka wasn't at home and had quite the social life that evening as he returned to their shared apartment, but it was when Ayato begrudgingly decided not to eat dinner because he didn't want to look at another person and that his cooking skills were below par, he'd rather starve, he told himself than make something half-assed.

_Is that why you have so many matches?_

Ayato gripped the pencil he held between his fingers so hard it might have snapped if he were superhuman. He wasn't, though; he was just a very fed-up college student, with a sister who had a problem with his lifestyle. 

Why were you following him? Was he really that entertaining? A moment later, he decided that keeping you looming around in his mind only meant letting you win, therefore pushing you out forcefully was the single-most brilliant decision he had made ever since choosing the business elective. Letting out a breath, he checked his phone for the time before his eyes widened at the sheer fact that it was 11:47 p.m. and his hands quickly dialed the only number Ayato had been dialing all his life.

"Touka, where the f*ck are you?" She picked in just three rings.

" _Jesus_ ," He heard on the other end, "I'm on my way. Idiot friends of mine got sloshed. I'm the designated driver."

Ayato rolled his eyes, "That's because you always pick the last straw."

"That's because I opted to be, moron!"

Ayato quickly shut up, not wanting to argue with his sister who already had her hands full at the moment. He knew telling her to bring something to eat while she was coming back was a hassle, but Touka was Touka, he didn't even have to ask.

"Did you eat?"

Ayato pressed his lips together before choosing not to answer.

"I'll get something over. I'm starving."

He was sure that she wasn't. Touka never skipped meals. This dependency, as much as he'd like to say it was two-sided, wasn't. Touka was far too individualistic to let anyone help her, which was why it wasn't odd that she opted to be the designated driver. She opted for any role of responsibility because the lack of a mother hit her harder than it hit him. It was Touka who remembered her far more clearly than Ayato ever did, and perhaps, in many ways, she learned to compensate for that loss by being motherly herself. It was sad, but he admired her for it; not that he'd ever let her know.

When she returned home in less than half an hour, Ayato had managed to clean the kitchen, set the plates, and vacuum the house. He personally didn't like living in a dungeon himself and preferred a clean house that's dust-free, but whether he admitted it right then or not, it was his sister's thoughtfulness that sometimes made him do this.

"I got kimchi rice and fried chicken," She said, barging in, "The Korean place was open so I didn't want to wait."

"Works."

The two sat down before the television before beginning to eat. Touka's portion was considerably smaller than his own, but he refused to comment. 

"Did dad call you?"

"No, he called you?" Ayato asked, annoyed.

"Yeah, he said he misses us and that _you_ ," She gave him a look, "should look for a girlfriend."

"Oh, yeah?" He was reminded of you almost effortlessly, it pissed him off, "And he didn't comment on your single status?"

Touka scoffed, "I have a much more thriving social life compared to you, future hikikomori-san."

Perhaps, it was the pent-up anger that made him blurt out about your existence. Maybe, it was the fact that everything about you riled him up and the only person he ever held a meaningful conversation with was his sister that he chose to tell you at that moment. While he expected her to laugh at him and mock him for having done something so awkward, Touka sat there, staring at him as if he were an idiot. 

In all honesty, even though she called him that almost all the time, Touka knew her brother was a bit of a genius sometimes.

"You really do have one brain cell when talking to people who aren't me."

Ayato's eyes widened with fury, "What the f*ck is that supposed to mean?!"

She leaned back and bit into her chicken as she grinned at him, "She was right, this girl. You do swear a lot."

Ayato recalled your words clearly. For someone who had no trouble forgetting things that he wanted to forget, taking your visage off his mind proved to be the biggest challenge thus far. You were ridiculously clingy, and the mere frown plastered on his face was proof enough that you refused to leave his mind. Even Touka caught along.

"They say you can't forget the memories that you don't want to." Touka mocked.

"Yeah, it's hard to forget bad memories. Happiness leaves no scars and shit."

"Why didn't you just go with her? Maybe she'll follow you around or something."

Ayato rolled his eyes, "I deleted my profile and the damn app, there's no way she knows my name and even if she does somehow know my name, the campus is big enough for me to avoid her. I'm fine, thanks for your concern."

Touka scoffed, "Who knows? She might've been nice."

"Yeah, right," all he could recall was your laughing face and the intensity of your chuckles, it was angering, "I'd rather not find out."

When the night passed, Ayato was grateful that he didn't have any more thoughts of you. Perhaps, the universe heard his pleas of wanting not to think of you and it gave him just that. A night of dreamless sleep and the first thought in the morning was a well-placed bowel movement, and the strong urge for coffee—it was peaceful once again. Touka had made breakfast, being the responsible eldest child that she was, and Ayato quietly sat and ate, thinking of what classes he had that day.

 _Operations management_ , he thought. Ah, the business course. The one elective Ayato prided himself for choosing. It wasn't that other computer students didn't choose this, they chose something restricted to within their field, but Ayato's quick thinking made him assess the situation strongly; he needed to learn basics of business management if he wanted to thrive in a pathetically capitalist government. He wouldn't ever admit to his father, the businessman, that he had anything to do with this type of thinking.

As he walked into the campus, Ayato's version of a good day was playing out. No one greeted him, people treated him like he didn't exist, and what a beautiful day—clear skies, a few clouds, not too warm and not too cold. 

However, maybe the universe got tired of playing nice. 

It was as if the universe was telling him, 'You take pride in choosing one elective, Ayato?' And there was a bitter, resounding laugh in his head that day as he walked into class, and the universe's voice resembled his sister's, 'What about _now_?'

It was the first operations management class ever since he ran into you the previous day in the library. 

And it was in this operations management class did he see you again.

Your eyes widened comically at Ayato before a nasty looking grin plastered on your face. You were seated beside someone who looked far too meek to even exist, but you got up before standing in front of Ayato, who pushed you aside and just walked past you. You were laughing again and why, why, WHY did he feel like he wanted to break something?

"It's fate, Kirishima-kun!"

 _Of course_ , you knew his name. _Of course_ , things wouldn't play out the way he wanted them to. _Of course_ , he had a thoughtless and dreamless sleep the night before because that was just the calm before the storm, and he was yet to see your live yet ridiculous form greet him that morning to ensure that his day was, in hindsight, f*cked.

He sat at the last seat but you followed him. The meek boy beside you didn't move, for which he was somewhat grateful, but you following him was just torture playing out. Ayato didn't like choosing this fate, he was always under the impression that if he ever got caught for doing something bad, then it'd be him refusing torture and accepting death. But here he was, digging his bag for earphones, waiting to let this one and half hour lecture go, knowing full well in his heart and mind that you were going to be talking his ear off.

Instead, you chose another way to annoy him.

Just as class began, you took out a strange-looking purple fruit and chewed into it. Ayato was listening to metal music, which meant there was no way he could hear you or anything you had to say, but when you looked at him from the corner of your eye with an evil glint that displayed that you were chewing on this rather disgusting looking fruit only because he was there was quite obvious and quite revolting. It wasn't as if he could cover his eyes, that would be preposterous. And it wasn't as if the teacher could stop you from eating a fruit especially when you two were in the last seat in a gallery-type class, and the teacher concentrated primarily on the first two rows.

He was certain that the fruit itself didn't look disgusting, but you casually eating it and taking down notes was like scratching against the green board. 

Pulling out an earphone, he picked the fruit off your hand and threw it to the side, not bothered about littering. 

"Hey! I was eating that!" You whisper-yelled, but he didn't care.

"Yeah, just to annoy me in such a f*cked up way." Ayato snapped, still whispering.

"There's the swearing again. I was hungry and I missed breakfast."

Ayato rolled his eyes, "Who even eats a vagina-like fruit for breakfast?"

You snorted, "You think a plum looks like a vagina? Do you even know what a vagina looks like?"

Ayato blushed strongly before choosing to ignore your comment. It wasn't a comment, it was a blatant accusation, which was true in every aspect. While he knew what it looked it, it wasn't as if he'd actually—

"Besides, plums don't look NSFW. What you're thinking of are peaches."

"Shut the f*ck up."

Once class ended, Ayato knew you'd follow him. Ayato knew that your existence was to make sure his was difficult, but he almost paused when he didn't sense you follow after him the way he'd expected. He turned to you from the corner of his eye and noticed you'd run back to that meek-looking friend of yours, before deliberately shooting Ayato another flirtatious look that he merely looked away from. Thank f*ck, he thought before exiting the class and heading straight to the library.

His next class would begin in half an hour, which meant some time to just relax. Being around people was draining, and it was then he began to wonder if there was some truth in what his sister said.

"So you wanted me to follow you?"

Ayato groaned before turning to you, as you leaned over his table. 

"No."

"Ooh! No swear word? That's progress."

"F*ck off."

You clicked your tongue, "That's not very nice."

"F*ck off, _please_."

You giggled before taking a seat opposite to him. Ayato deadpanned at you before wondering if he had been born a flesh-eating monster in his previous life to deserve such terrible treatment in this one.

"For the remarkably rude act that you pulled yesterday, you owe me a date."

He raised both his eyebrows at you as if you were retarded.

"What rude act? I swiped left on you—"

"In front of me."

Ayato rolled his eyes, "I didn't see you."

"But you did after."

"That doesn't make sense."

"Neither does your swearing."

Ayato gave you a look before frowning, "Are you that desperate to find someone to date that you approach just anyone? Even someone who's hell-bent on turning you down each time?"

He spotted the birth of a wince in your features, and he wondered if perhaps he had crossed the line after all with what he had said, but he didn't care. He didn't know you to care, and with the looks of what he thought, he wasn't going to know you either. But, this slight worry was thrown off the window when you leaned forward and grinned.

"At least I'm brave enough to talk to people, Kirishima Ayato-kun."

Ayato's eyes widened at your accusation before existentialism hit his features. Did this really look like he was afraid? Did he avoid contact with people because a part of him was afraid of what it would go like, and how much effort he would have to actually put in? His eyes narrowed dangerously when he realized the game you were playing before leaning forward and getting ready to spit at you.

But, you pulled back and clapped your hands together.

"Now that I know we share a class together, let's be friends and put all this behind us!"

Ayato's gaze was almost comical.

"So," You stood up before tilting your head sweetly at him, "Want to eat a plum?"

Ah, there it was again. The urge to break something.


	3. c h a p t e r - t w o

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ᴛᴡᴏ  
𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒃𝒓𝒂𝒊𝒏𝒄𝒆𝒍𝒍𝒔 𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒇𝒇𝒆𝒆

∙

Now that Ayato had discovered the dark truth about his business elective, he was tempted to fake an excuse to drop out of it. However, he wasn't that much of an idiot; to drop out of a subject because of one person. While he knew that your presence in class wasn't appreciated, he was certain that he could still avoid you despite you being there and trying to make things difficult for him. 

"Kirishima-kun," He heard your voice in the library on the plum eating day, with just five minutes left to his next class. A class that he, fortunately, didn't share with you, "Is it okay if I call you by your first name?"

"Why not just... not call me at all?"

"Oof," You said, folding your arms together by grabbing your things, "You're a tough nut to crack, ain't ya?"

Ayato stared at you with a deadpan. He took a deep breath before trying to calm down, but you looked like you were about to leave. For a second, he was about to ask you what course you were in, especially if you were to share a business elective with him. But, he chose against it. After all, he was trying to get rid of you from his life, not get to know you.

"I'll see you around," You said, "And hopefully you'll consider on that date."

"The answer's always going to be a no."

"Aw, shucks. But, let's see. There are still three years left."

Ayato's eyes widened as your form retreated. He stared at your back as you dropped that revelation like you'd drop a bomb. It wasn't funny in the slightest, and even if that fact was something you were hoping would change things, Ayato was only filled with a weird sort of trepidation. Shit, he thought before feeling the urge to bite his nails. He remembered his dad would do it when he was still living with him, and he was sure as hell glad he was away from his father's toxic habits, but now the urge was here, and the inheritance was strong.

The next time Ayato saw you was from a distance, strangely. He noticed you talking to a faculty member regarding something, and he quickly side-stepped to get away from you before you could spot him. This made him feel cowardly, but would a person call another person who was retreating to avoid a nuisance a coward?

And that was what you were in all hindsight, a nuisance. 

The next business operations class he had was the very next day. He had two of these classes in the week, and the fact that they were placed one day after another meant he had to see you one day after another, and while that was giving him a prospective headache, the thought that it functioned similarly to ripping off a bandaid gave him solace.

When he sat at the last desk in the class, the same as he had done the day before, you had walked up to him as if you had been sitting there all the damn time. It irked Ayato that you were just so confident with the way you approached him, but something was strange; you had prominent eye-bags and your walk was slower, and you definitely smelled like yesterday, with an oversized sweatshirt and black jeans with some bread crumbs dusted on them. Your hair was tied in a messy bun and you looked like you were definitely going to fall flat on your face and sleep for seven hours on the next straight surface you could find. 

It didn't help that this was a 7 a.m. class, and maybe you were not a morning person. He noticed you had coffee in one hand, and your other hand dug into your bag to get something out. Ayato almost spat his soul out when he noticed you took out a monster energy drink and poured it into your coffee.

"I'm going to die." You said and drank the whole thing.

Ayato watched you, his mouth ajar, at the extremely unhealthy practice you had just made him witness. Either something had happened that he refused to want to know, or you were just experimenting and he didn't understand why both of these things seemed like something someone like you would do.

 _Huh_ , he thought, _I don't even know her that well and I'm guessing how she'd behave? How f*cked up._

Throughout the first fifteen minutes of the class, Ayato contemplated asking you if you were alright. However, when your left leg began to shake up and down in one place and you started to fidget with your pen, literally sitting next to you was making Ayato feel on edge. He gave you a look from the corner of his eye and wondered if saying something would even fall on your ears.

"I didn't get much sleep." 

"Figured." Ayato responded, and then there was an awkward silence.

Perhaps, you didn't notice that it was awkward. Perhaps, it was awkward because Ayato never really spoke to people. Do people normally let things go quiet between their conversations? What would they do when things got quiet? Do they continue talking?

"This was not a good idea. Ten on ten won't recommend." 

Ayato chuckled before looking down on his book. Of course, it was a stupid idea. Black coffee mixed with an energy drink? You were an idiot, sure, but dear lord, this was something else. 

"Why'd you do it then?" He tried to sound mocking.

"Working brain cells need coffee, Kirishima-kun," You say, sighing, "It's not something you'd understand because you have one functioning brain cell."

"Shut the f*ck up, I'm not the one that downed a disgusting drink just to stay awake in class."

"But, you are the one struggling like it's a final exam trying to maintain a conversation so I'd say we both are losers in one aspect."

Ayato turned away before realizing that you were indeed a nuisance. Sure, you had entertained him by downing a rather disgusting, no, devastatingly putrid drink that can possibly end someone's life and the only reason you were breathing was that you were maybe, a ghoul with no taste buds. 

"Wanna play truth or truth?"

Ayato grimaced before deciding to ignore you.

"I'll go first. Ask me."

He was not going to ask you anything.

"Come on, Kirishima-kun, the best way to shut me up is to either aggressively make out with me or play this game."

He felt the grimace rise from his chest and travel to his face; he was seething but he hated how he couldn't show it. If Ayato was used to crying, he'd do it now. 

"Can you shut up?" He whispered, spelling the words apart to let you know he was pissed off.

You caught the emotion he was so clearly trying to display but did the one thing he hoped you wouldn't do. You ignored them.

"Aw, what a waste of a question! I can shut up, yes. Now it's my turn."

"I won't play your stupid game."

"If you won't, I'll stand up and yell."

His eyes widened before he shook his head disbelievingly, "There's no way—"

You stood up a second later and he felt his heart jump. He immediately grabbed you and pulled you down, before recollecting that you had downed an energy drink coffee in one chug. 

" _Fine_ ," He whispered, hating his existence, "What's your f*cking question?"

"With such a pretty face, why are you single?"

"Because I want to be."

You grinned at him before nodding once, "Your turn."

He groaned before turning to look at the teacher who simply continued to teach. It was hilarious how there were literally several others who were either dozing off or watching anime in class and the teacher didn't notice. 

"Why do you want to annoy me so much?"

"Because I think you're really cute."

Ayato felt his cheeks getting warmer at how honest that answer sounded. It didn't matter if you thought he was cute; he thought you were annoying, so that's that.

"My turn. Will you go out with me?"

"No. Why do you follow me around?"

"Because you owe me a date. Do you have any siblings?"

Ayato cussed under his breath before saying, "One sister. I'm getting tired of this game, shut up—"

"Your turn."

Ayato groaned before thinking of something that he didn't know about you. It hit him out of nowhere a second later, and maybe it was a question that you were expecting him to ask from the start of this stupid game. For a strange reason, you succeeded in making Ayato feel like a fool.

"What's..." _F*ck me_ , "What's your f*cking name?"

You giggled a moment later as if he had fallen into your trap, and his face reddened. _Why am I in this mess?_ He thought before wondering if he should sit on the first desk from the next class. But, knowing you, you'd find a way to bother him there as well. You seemed pretty skilled in doing that.

"(y/n) (l/n). Do you think I'm cute?"

"No. Do you want to die or something?" Ayato rubbed his hand over his forehead, letting out a groan.

"Always, Kirishima-kun. Always." 

Ayato froze. He turned to look at you, staring directly at him, a wide, smug grin plastered on your face. Your head was balanced on your hand, your elbow resting on the table. He couldn't tell if you were joking or if you were being serious, but the words coming out of your mouth, the smug grin on your face, everything contributed to nothing. There was something about the tone in your voice that added to how ridiculously mysterious you sounded right then, but maybe it was just his imagination. Maybe, you were enjoying the surprised expression that sat on his face because of you, because your grin only grew wider. He turned away from you after that, throwing the game out of the window now because maybe you thought jokes on death were funny.

He didn't though. Nothing about death was funny. 

It reminded him of a hard-working sister, who never caught a break. 

  
*

  
When he reached home after class, he was more than glad that he didn't have to see you for a whole week. _That is if I'm lucky_ , he thought before heading to his room and locking the door behind him. He was glad that he didn't have any other classes till the afternoon, which meant he had several hours to himself. He knew Touka was at home, he saw her outdoor shoes when he entered. Knowing full well that she'd barge in when it was lunchtime, Ayato chose to walk over to her instead. 

He spotted her asleep beside her desk and his eyes softened. There were many things that Ayato secretly tolerated. He walked over to her before picking her up in his arms and softly placing her on the bed. She must've stayed up all night again, he thought before rubbing the back of his head. 

Some of the things he didn't tolerate were death jokes. 

Ever since he was a child, he'd notice when adults made jokes about dying or something bordering around death. It didn't irritate him personally, but he always remembered the look his sister made whenever such a joke was made. Touka was three years older than him, which meant she had five years with their mother unlike his measly two. He couldn't understand what a mother-daughter relationship felt like, but what he knew was that these jokes made her uncomfortable. 

Touka lived every single day of her life compensating for the death of their mother. Ever since that realization hit his mind, Ayato didn't appreciate death jokes either.

But, were you joking? You were an idiot, that he was sure of. Downing an energy drink with black coffee at 7 a.m. in the morning because you wanted to stay up in class? Just to talk to him? There were others who were sleeping, others who barely paid attention to the class, and yet you did what you did regardless of sitting in the last bench, knowing full well that the teacher wouldn't have spotted you doing anything at all.

Did you say that just so that he'd break his head over you?

Like he currently was?

_Always, Kirishima-kun. Always._

If you were one of those self-deprecating, nihilistic people, then he had all the more reason to stay away from you. However, he couldn't lie that he was curious. Shaking his head, he walked out of Touka's room before focusing on any sound that could make him take you off your mind. 

The ticking of the clock did little to erase you.


	4. c h a p t e r - t h r e e

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ᴛʜʀᴇᴇ  
 **𝒓𝒂𝒈𝒆 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒅𝒚𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒅**

∙

There were only a few things that didn't manage to bother Touka. Most of them were about her anti-social brother, some of it was about her own state for graduate studies, and rarely was it ever her own social life. Touka's social life was almost blessed, there wasn't anything to feel sad about. When she woke up that late afternoon after pulling another all-nighter and sending in the assignment just in time, she noticed that she was magically on her bed now and not the table where she remembered falling asleep at. 

She knew right away that it was Ayato, but then the fact that he came home in between classes proved that he didn't have anyone to talk to.

As much as he disliked speaking to people, she knew that it was an unhealthy habit. Ayato's dislike for people rose from the fact that he was very shy as a kid, and he only ended up growing up to be someone who had a very low tolerance for things.

Unlike many men his age, Ayato Kirishima was a tad bit more mature and things that often interested men his age, didn't interest him. He liked football, and even that he'd follow news only of his favorite clubs and leave it at that. He wouldn't make an extra effort to watch the games or interact with people who do, he'd focus primarily on his own growth as a student, ever since school. 

It wasn't something only she noticed; even their father noticed Ayato's need to stay to himself, which was saying something. Their father, Arata, was doting and tried to be everything that the death of their mother had taken from them. However, even affectionate Arata couldn't burn the ice around Ayato's heart.

That evening, as soon as Ayato came home, Touka knew she had to speak to him. She walked over to him as he entered the living room and noticed he had earphones plugged into his ear, and when his eyes met hers, he removed them before raising his chin at her so as to ask her what was up.

"Do you not see that this is wrong?"

Ayato blinked, confusedly. 

"It's a Friday night."

Ayato groaned before shaking his head, "Give it a rest, Touka—"

"No, listen," Touka sounded strangely worried, which alerted her brother, "It's my fault you're like this."

Ayato's eyes widened and he wondered if someone had replaced his sister's genius brain with an immaculate one. 

"Are you an idiot or something? How is my need to stay alone your fault?"

Touka pressed her lips together, "I've been doting on you ever since you were a kid. This isn't something you just picked up, Ayato! Even as a kid you never went out with friends, you never had experiences that others your age do. It was fine back then but I didn't see what I was doing until now. Doting on you the way I did gave little room for you to figure yourself out. And... I blame myself for—"

"Touka, shut up," Ayato narrowed his eyes. "I just don't like people."

"That's because you think you don't need them. I made you think that, whether you accept it or not. You speak to me about literally everything, you used to come to me for help with everything, and I'd never let you go to dad or anyone else. I made you depend on me with every aspect—"

"You make me sound like I'm some sort of loser—"

"I tried to be more than just a sister to you. I tried to be a mother, a friend, and a confidant. I realize I was wrong, but this is just punishment."

Ayato couldn't believe his ears. He felt his heart pound erratically, and the situation he was in drove him up the wall. _Why the hell is she blaming herself for this?_ He thought before running a hand through his hair. He turned to his sister's intense gaze before giving in.

"What should I do?"

"We've had this conversation a million times now," Touka said, "Start small, just—"

"There's this girl that's dying to go out with me. She and I share an elective."

"Is it the same girl you swiped left on in front of her?"

Ayato almost cussed, " _No_ —! Wait, it wasn't in _front_ of her, okay?! I didn't know she was there so now she's like I owe her a date and we share a f*cking elective and she doesn't leave me alone."

"She sounds like a problem."

"She is a f*cking problem," Ayato sighed, "Just the other day she downed black coffee mixed with an energy drink."

"Ah," Touka folded her arms together, "She must've had an assignment or two."

Ayato paused. _Wait, really?_ Now when he thought about it, it made a whole lot more sense. He suddenly felt like an idiot.

"Do you want to go out with her?" 

Ayato's eyes widened, "What? No!"

"Then find someone else."

He knew that could be a solution. Letting out a breath, he took out his phone and plopped on the couch, only to have Touka sit beside him. She watched as he downloaded Tinder again, before gritting his teeth and leaning his head back. She chuckled at how hesitant her brother was with all this, but she knew that it came from a place that was inexperienced more than anything else. Even if there was a part of him that wanted friends now, she knew that his lack of experience with interaction would prevent him from wanting to open up. 

Her eyes landed on this girl on the app she thought looked cute. She pointed her finger to her picture and looked at Ayato.

"She's cute," Touka said before turning back to her, "Hinami."

Ayato scoffed before Touka swiped right, causing his eyes to widen. 

"Why the f*ck did you do that!?"

"Because she's cute and I think meeting her would be nice! Oh!" Her gaze fixed on the 'It's a Match' on the phone, "She thinks you're cute too."

Ayato felt his stomach rumble. He wanted to get out of the place he was in, but the damage was already done. He turned to look at Touka's cheeky grin before she got up and walked away, not before saying,

"You have to text her, Ayato!"

He wanted to die. 

  
*

  
"(y/n)-chan!" Hinami's voice was loud.

It wasn't that you didn't like her, but your roommate sometimes forgot what personal space meant. Hinami's lack of experience with the world didn't bother you at all, you found that a tad bit endearing if you were being honest. She had a cute face and a cute personality, you'd give her that, and perhaps it was your own personality that didn't sit well with the rest of the world. You liked people and simultaneously despised them, which was an odd combination that sometimes confused you. You turned to spot Hinami walk inside your shared apartment, kicking her shoes to the ground, the left one fell in front of the door and the right one fell a couple of steps away. You gritted your teeth at the haphazard manner she removed her shoes before your eyes met hers.

"Remember that cute guy I was telling you about? We matched with each other!"

"That's great, Hina-chan!" I don't need to know this, you thought but you were never one to push her away, "You should send him a message."

"Shouldn't the guy do that first though?"

You shrugged, "Why not change things up a bit? It's refreshing."

Of course, Hinami didn't think the same. She started talking about how it was important that the guy text first before you noticed her throw her bag on the couch, and removed her hair hand (with a few strands of hair attached to the elastic of it), and placed it on the television counter. You resisted the urge to slap your forehead.

You had two more assignments to finish by the end of the week. While you'd completed over half of the first one, you still were yet to begin the next. And the week ends in two days, you thought before leaning back against the couch. Hinami suddenly plopped beside you, which almost caused your laptop to fall off your legs, but you were quick enough to catch it. You turned to spot her smiling widely at you, which made you smile back because Hinami was cute, despite everything.

"Can you help me?"

 _I have two assignments_ , you thought before turning to your computer screen. _I've told her about this many times._

"What is it?"

"Take a look at his profile?"

You silently reached your hand out and noticed how happy she suddenly got. You giggled at her reaction before your eyes landed on the profile she had opened. Your eyes widened at the familiar face before your grin slowly died. 

"Ayato, it says," Hinami said, dreamily, "He's so cute, even though there's only one picture."

 _He swiped right on her_ , you thought before handing her phone back to her. You smiled at her before nodding once, "I've got to get back to the assignment, Hina-chan. Sorry."

She shook her head before getting up, "What's for dinner?"

You gave her an apologetic look, "Uh, I couldn't make anything because I was busy—"

"Aww, you didn't make dinner? It's fine, I'll order in for myself then."

 _Are you serious?_ "Yeah, sure."

You turned back to your computer screen before feeling that a familiar feeling of rage hit your veins. Anger was such a funny thing. The world asked you not to express it, and channel it to something that was apparently healthier. Your mind could be dying, but even then rage was never a good thing. The way anger was shunned in the world, you were often confused and left crippled when that was the feeling you felt the most. Sometimes, you didn't understand yourself; how you could continue moving around with a large smile on your face like there was never a worry in the world, and yet, your chest would be brimming with anger.

You thought of Dylan Thomas' poem. Rage against the dying of the light.

 _It's rage against the dying of the mind_ , you scoffed before picking up your things and heading back to your room. Now that Hinami was back, with you being on the couch would only invite her to come and bother you more. Your mind traversed to Ayato's profile on Hinami's phone and you tried to not let him matching with her bother you, but there was one thing you prided yourself over. It was the fact that you accepted whatever emotion you were feeling. 

Unless it was anger. Anger was something you struggled with. 

"(y/n)-chan, are we 203 or 204?"

You rolled your eyes. A grin came over where a nasty frown was present just a second ago. While you knew that putting everything under the carpet would do you no good, you were a master negotiator with your own emotions. 

"It's 205, Hina-chan."

The death grip against your phone, however, was one of the ways you let it slip.


	5. c h a p t e r  f o u r

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ғᴏᴜʀ  
𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒐𝒏𝒍𝒚 𝒅𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒔 𝒕𝒐𝒍𝒆𝒓𝒂𝒃𝒍𝒆 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒎 𝑨𝒓𝒂𝒃𝒊𝒂

∙

It was strange how thoughts worked. Ayato always believed that something that bothered him intensely wouldn't easily be forgotten in a matter of a few days, but turns out it was quite simple. He didn't see you so you were not on his mind, and that strangely energized him to the absolute core. He could focus on completing assignments in time, ignore his sister who monitored his conversations with Hinami, the girl he had matched with, and he could catch 7 hours of uninterrupted sleep.

Ayato was winning in life until Touka came down to ruin it.

"So when are you meeting her?"

He was sure that if there was any liquid in his mouth, he'd have spat that shit right out. He turned to his sister as if she was a misplaced female gnome wearing an obscure witch outfit, and Touka just scoffed. She plopped on the couch beside him before cocking her eyebrow at him, almost as if she had him figured out. Ayato would never admit how well his sister knew him, they were from the same bone and whatnot, but he hated giving her the credit. As Touka's annoying smile grew, Ayato felt his anger boil inside his chest.

"Meet _who_?"

He didn't know why in the life of him that playing dumb was the first reaction he had to his sister's teasing. He didn't know why he played dumb, not as if that was going to help even, it wasn't—if Touka wanted to know something, there was no point playing dumb. Because then she'd say something like this...

"Quit playing dumb, moron, and tell me you didn't chicken out in asking Hinami on a date."

Ayato groaned before running a hand through his hair. The second he realized it was a tad bit greasy, he knew he had to wash it. Huh, he thought before finding a couple navy blue strands in his fingers. I'm stressed.

"Ayato," Touka snapped, "Quit being a pansy."

"Why're you annoying me, Touka? You swiped right on that chick, not me. I don't have to—"

"Ayato, we talked about this."

 _Shit_ , he thought before groaning once more. Every time his sister brought back their earlier conversation, he felt his chest constrict with an odd emotion he wasn't quite familiar with. It drove him to an ugly edge, where all he wanted to do was scream or cry but he wouldn't cry. His best bet would be to make someone cry, and now even though he knew he owed his sister at least a bit of a social life from his end, the ordeal of it seemed like a task he didn't want to go through with.

"I didn't," he mumbled, loud enough for her to hear and soft enough so that he'd never remember it later, "I... I don't want to."

Touka rolled her eyes and pinned her chin on the headrest, "Just ask her out for this weekend and go. Don't be a wuss."

Three times his sister questioned his guts in this one conversation. Was it all worth it? What a terrible age it was to have your guts measured in how much you wanted to go on a stupid date? He turned to her and let out a breath, which he realized came out a tad bit shaky.

"I'll ask her."

So the date to his final days was coming close. He'd successfully asked Hinami out on a date for the weekend, the first weekend where he didn't have an assignment and he was choosing to spend it with a girl he'd never met, a girl he'd rather never meet, a girl he honestly never found interesting but still chose to continue talking to his one word replies, indicating she was either severely stunted emotionally or an emotionally charged clown that was waiting to ruin his life.

With three days left to the most awful weekend he'd ever have, he walked into the 7 a.m. class that morning, the very same business class he'd opted to take, the class where he'd find you either pulling a rather dangerous stunt or surprisingly... 

...not bothering him these past few weeks?

Ayato spotted you in the third row, taking a nap, the timid friend sitting right beside you, taking down notes or something. Ayato walked past the desk with no thought in mind, before sitting himself down on the desk he usually sat at. Not many bothered to come to the 7 a.m. class and it was then Ayato realized that you hadn't even approached him the past few weeks; maybe, you'd learned your lesson and left him alone. Maybe, what he said triggered something and you finally chose self-esteem over chasing after a handsome loner.

Yet, he couldn't understand why that bothered him.

It wasn't as if he wanted to know you more, or if the lack of interactions you were now having with him seemed to aggravate him simply because you were quite possibly the only person who'd approached and spoken to him in college. Even though the other girls who'd come to him were girls trying to ask him out, and you were indeed along those same lines, you screamed different in an aspect he couldn't quite explain.

You were confident with your approaches, he'd give you that.

But then, why did you suddenly stop? What made you lose interest? Was his personality so repulsive that made you want to give up and believe the looks weren't worth it?

Why was your exit from his life making him feel insecure?

Ayato wanted to slap himself for that train of thought alone. How ridiculous, he thought before groaning internally and staring at his book. He focused on class after, and found it rather easy to read because you were out of his life the way he wanted. However, he missed you turning around and giving him a look; he missed the way your eyes scanned his form, a ghost of a smile on your lips as if there was something only you knew that was going to occur to him in, maybe, the next three days.

  
*

  
In all honestly, Ayato didn't like any kind of dates. Dates had a strange woody taste to them, and his favorite dry fruit was perhaps the pistachio. He could funnily relate to the pistachio, the hard shell on the outside and the not-so-overtly-sweet candy like nut on the inside. Ayato wouldn't call himself a pistachio but his mind wasn't his best when he was deciding how to look unappealing on the date he was to go to in less than three hours.

However, he knew that dates were tolerable if they were from Arabia. Not the dates that were set-up as some sort of payment by your society loving sister that prayed for your mental-wellbeing by forcing you to interact with people you'd actually rather die than to speak to. It wasn't that Hinami was insufferable, it was all of humanity, but since Hinami fell under that bracket, her goodness was covered.

Hinami was apparently a biology student, living near the university, her best friend apparently being her room-mate who had a strange habit that Ayato related to—not being able to stand the sound of loud chewing. There was a word for it—misophonia, a word that further enunciated that he disliked being around people.

He didn't even bother to look through Hinami's pictures after matching with her. She'd text him all the darn time, and Ayato merely responded if he felt like it; which was rare on its own. He'd tell her that he was busy with assignments and Hinami would awkwardly compare it to her roommate, and Ayato believed whoever this roommate was either enjoyed living with a human cotton candy machine or the amount of f*cks the person had had run out.

He wouldn't say his heart was pounding when he reached the cafe. He knew he was late, he wanted to be late, since he didn't even want to be there in the first place. Touka had promised that she'd not ask if he went on a second date, which meant he had to pray this Hinami girl didn't bother him after this one meeting. He'd sent Touka a message asking her to instantly call him if he sent her an 'SOS', to which she merely sent a thumbs up. 

He spotted Hinami inside, checking her phone. She was cute, he'd give her that, but when she turned to spot him and stood up instantly to give him an awkward-half-hug thing, he froze in his spot.

"Ooh," She said, pulling away, "You're a rigid one, aren't you? Not used to hugs?"

 _I hate this b*tch_ , Ayato thought and the impression was made. She was intolerable, and she didn't have to say anything more than a sentence. He sat across from her and checked the time and wondered if it would be too weird to fake an excuse and leave. His lying skills were top-notch, but the only people who fell for them were his father and...

...yeah, that was it. 

"You're a bit late." Hinami said, teasingly.

"Yeah," _F*ck me_ , "Traffic."

He took the train, but alright. Ayato could pretend he came by bus instead. 

"What do you want to get? I really like the pumpkin spice latte they make here! They don't even wait around for Halloween, you know?"

He wanted to die. Here was another dumbass that liked the monstrosity that was the pumpkin spice latte. Ayato would stick to his regular black coffee because it resembled his heart and would keep him alert throughout this torture. The best way to sustain energy in the middle of torture, he'd read long ago, was to stay alert and aware of your surroundings. When Hinami smiled at him questioningly, he knew that the torture was just beginning.

"So you're a computers student? That's so cool!"

What's cool about studying? He was doing it to get a job, just like the rest of the world. There was nothing cool about that! Cool would be being able to bend a fork with a person's mind. Now that Ayato would pay to see.

"I'm a biology student, I really love animals, you see. I love learning more about them and my favorite animals are—"

It was then Ayato had realized something important. His eyes were focused on Hinami's chattering form but his brain had shut down; and the realization dawned on him like the break of day that Ayato, in all this time, hadn't spoken a word. He wanted to laugh all of a sudden, but the awkwardness in the air kept it from happening. If he could somehow sit through this entire ordeal and have this chattering buffoon end things, then he'd never have to see her again.

"...and you know, you remind me so much of my roommate."

Ayato snapped out of his thoughts before letting out a breath and tilting his head a bit. He'd been compared to this roommate of hers a lot, and he now wondered why that was.

"You say that a lot," Ayato said, feeling his throat act funny since he hadn't spoken in a while, "Why?"

Hinami shrugged before saying, "She doesn't talk a lot either. Does her assignments and sometimes brings friends home? I don't see her bring a lot of people home a lot, but she's mostly by herself. Watches things alone, and cooks food for us, cleans and goes to college. Doesn't really care about what she says or how she sounds like to people. But, the difference would be..." Hinami squinted a bit before tapping her hand on her palm as if she got it, "She smiles more!"

Ayato wondered if he had to go out with the roommate instead.

"Oh yeah? She sounds like quite the person." Ayato sounded bored, rolling his eyes.

"Haha, she is. (y/n)-chan has her charms."

It was as if time almost decided that he'd had enough air and now Ayato had to choke. While he believed death would be a great relief (no more dates), Ayato couldn't believe what he had heard. Almost as if he had missed something gravely important, he took out his phone and fidgeted with it before opening Tinder, clicking on Hinami's profile and turning to the fourth picture she had uploaded of herself.

_F*ck._

It was _you_. You were sitting on the couch and Hinami had taken a selfie. 

He then looked at Hinami before finally understanding why you had stopped approaching him. He didn't know if he felt bad for you or if he suddenly respected you. 

"Anyway," Hinami clapped her hands together and giggled, "Have you watched the movie 'The Notebook'?"

You had done it again. Like the very plague that destroyed half of Europe, you were beginning to destroy the entirety his mind. He'd missed the way you grinned at him, but he now pictured it. He pictured it because you didn't seem like the person who'd give up. You knew what was in store for him, you were just waiting to rub it in his face.

The respect for you came out of a deeply dispassionate place. He applauded your victory as Hinami celebrated the arrival of her pumpkin spice latte. 

If you wanted him to regret saying no to you, Ayato had come incredibly close to doing so.


	6. c h a p t e r  f i v e

Cʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ғɪᴠᴇ  
𝑶𝒃𝒋𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒇𝒊𝒄𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝒊𝒏 𝒃𝒓𝒐𝒂𝒅 𝒅𝒂𝒚𝒍𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕

∙

When Ayato returned home from his 'date', Touka wasn't home. _Whenever I want her here, she's f*cking gone!_ He thought before feeling the urge to throw something to the wall, but Ayato directed that urge to head into his room and throw himself on his bed. He then recalled how he hadn't removed his shoes and a nasty groan slipped out of his tongue before slowly getting up and silently taking his shoes off. Old habits die hard—Ayato had been used to removing his shoes before stepping into the house.

The real reason as to why he was seething was simply because he couldn't get your stupid grin off his mind; the grin hadn't even happened yet, the grin might not even happen at all—yet, he could picture it, and if he could picture something as vivid as you grinning at how pathetic his date had been, the date he had so boldly chosen over you (even though it had been his sister who had done it), then that only meant in all reality that it could happen.

You could very well be holding a trident and smirking at him right before smiting him with your puns and sarcasm. 

Yet, there was something he had taken away from the date. Hinami mentioned how similar you were to him, and all the previous comparisons she had made about how Ayato and you were two peas in a pod only made him wonder if your happy-go-lucky nature was merely a persona. 

_She doesn't talk a lot either. Does her assignments and sometimes brings friends home?_ Ayato narrowed his eyes before realizing how you had just one person sitting beside you in that one class he shared with you, and the other times he had the opportunity to spot you, you were alone. _Doesn't really care about what she says or how she sounds like to people_. Ayato eased the frown off his face when he knew that fact so well about you—when you had so boldly flirted with him despite not even knowing him, how you plopped beside him and decided to down a dangerous drink just to stay awake, and how easily you let him know you were mildly (mildly?) interested in him. 

_But, the difference would be..._

Ayato felt the frown return.

_She smiles more!_

When Hinami returned home that evening, you weren't overtly waiting to hear about how the date went. It wasn't as if you disliked Hinami, you were aware of how children spoilt by their parents turned up to be somewhere along the lines Hinami was, but there were many good things about the girl. She was far from anything drug/alcohol-related as a college student can be, and she indeed did love biology. Her heart was gold, but her mind was utter cotton candy—which meant she was as airheaded and ignorant as a person spoiled could be.

She was the kind of person, for some reason, you knew Ayato couldn't tolerate.

It wasn't as if you had a death grip over Ayato's personality. Sure, you found him attractive, and him swiping left on you so blatantly made you want to snort, and the entire reason why you wanted to go out with him was simply because he didn't seem like a talker, and if you were to elaborate your social life beyond your one good friend, Kaneki Ken, then it meant meeting another non-talker.

And on the plus side, Ayato Kirishima was devastatingly hot.

It wasn't easy to come across someone like Ayato when you were surrounded by drug-dealing, alcohol-obsessed, class-cutting junkies—therefore seeing someone like Ayato struggle with Tinder (it didn't take an expert to know he was new to the app), and seeing how he behaved as if he was forced to use the app made you want to know more about him. 

You wouldn't lie, though, that him choosing Hinami over you did sting a little bit. 

"(y/n)-chan!" Hinami's voice sounded from her room and you rolled your eyes. 

You stood up before heading over, trying as hard as you possibly could to not smirk at her, and not reveal anything about how this had gone in your head. You leaned against her doorframe before giving her a placid expression. Hinami turned to you and beamed, which made you feel a tad bit weird but held your words back.

"The date was...so-so!" 

_So-so?_ You cocked one eyebrow before waiting for her to continue. Because you knew, with your life, that she would.

"He isn't really a talker, you know?" _Yeah, I know._ "I was the one talking, and I feel like sometimes he got bored? But, that's okay because it is the first date and maybe we'll slowly get to know each other better as dates progress."

 _As dates progress?_ Hinami sure was confident. You waited though, unaware of where her confidence was coming from. 

"He didn't ask," She pressed her index fingers together and pouted, "But, I've got a feeling he will?"

"He'd be a fool not to," You say, smirking now because you couldn't hold it in anymore, "You're amazing, Hinami."

"I know, right?"

_Yeah, you sure do._

*

The next time you saw Ayato, you smirked at him without holding back. You lifted your hand and waved like the sweet person that you are before noticing him grumble and head toward you at a pace that didn't quite suit him. Standing right in front of you, he grabbed your hand before pulling you to the back of the classroom and plopped down, slamming the place beside him indicating for you to sit there. Your eyes widened comically before an amused smile sat on your lips; _Ooh_ , you thought, _Interesting_. 

"I heard the date went so-so."

"You f*cking b*tch," Ayato seethed, "You knew."

You narrowed your eyes before a 'psh' escaped your lips.

"How could I have known?" You said playfully, "I didn't know until Hinami told me!"

"That's why you avoided me! You knew it would turn out to be an absolute f*cking shit show."

Your eyes widened comically once again before a laugh escaped your lips. You bit your lower lip before grinning at him, not ignoring his nasty frown. It could have intimidated you if you were 7, but thankfully you were not.

"Shit show? Oh, Ayato-kun," You said, "That's not what I heard."

He groaned before leaning back in his seat, "I was dying."

"That's quite an expression. I'm sure she wasn't _that_ bad."

Ayato rolled his eyes, "Oh yeah? How would you know?"

You craned your neck to wonder if he had lost his common sense while running away from the date, "I live with her."

You noticed his face redden slightly before laughing. It made you feel odd that this boy was trash-talking your roommate, who considered you a friend, but you had never explicitly made it clear to her that you were her friend. The problem with people was that they assumed you were their friend simply because you smiled a lot. You turned to Ayato before feeling the sense that despite how much you smiled around him, he'd treat you the same. It was oddly comforting.

"You gonna go out with her again?"

His eyes widened, "No f*cking way."

"You swear so much," You said, shaking your head disappointingly, "We have to do something about that."

"There is no 'we'." Ayato snapped.

You chuckle, "You so wish there was though, right? Especially during that date?"

He could feel his face warm at her breezy accusation. It was true, Ayato had thought about how it would be if he had gone out with the 'roommate' instead, but that was before he knew that the roommate in question was you. However, the personalities didn't match; the personality he associated with you right then was entirely different from the person Hinami described. It confused him.

"She kept talking about you," Ayato said, looking at you. "But damn, she made you sound like someone else."

"Geminis are a weird bunch, Ayato-kun," You said, soothingly, "I surprise myself sometimes."

"You're a Gemini?" 

You turn to him and smile widely, "Who knows?"

As soon as the class ended, you stood beside him and tugged at his sleeve. He turned to you, which was probably the first time without a frown, and cocked one eyebrow so as to ask you what you wanted.

"How about that date?"

He groaned before jerking his hand away from your grasp and hear you giggle at his rash reaction.

"Did someone force you to join Tinder or something? You act as if it'll kill you to date."

"As a matter of fact, f*cktard," Ayato said glaring at you, "I was forced."

Your eyes widen at this new piece of information. You didn't know he was forced. You didn't know that he was capable of being forced into something like this, but whoever it was that forced him had to be someone special. You narrowed your eyes before thinking, your finger tapping away at your chin. A part of you wondered why Ayato even stood there if he found your presence so 'revolting'. 

"Was it your sister?"

He sighed before turning away, suddenly realizing he had functioning legs that could take him away from your questioning stance. Just as Ayato began walking, you jogged beside him and said something that quite practically froze him to the spot.

"If she wants you to prove to her that you can date, why not pretend to date me?"

His eyes widened before he turned to look at you as if you were an idiot from Mars. No, you were probably a Gemini, a fact he believed he'd not know for sure.

"Pretend to date?"

You nodded before tilting your head a bit, "You could tell your sister that we're dating but we'd not. It won't include any dates at all, and well, it won't include anything 'date'-like either."

"Why are you so hell-bent in bothering me?"

For a second, Ayato spotted how your smile fell; a strange emotion crossed your face, an emotion he had last seen somewhere long ago, an emotion he had forgotten existed. Seeing that in you made his stomach twinge with discomfort, but it was oddly consoling to know that every part of you meant what you were saying.

But you were back to being you in a second.

"Because you're so hot, Ayato-kun!"

Ayato had never really been pleased to feel objectified by anyone's eyes let alone yours.


	7. c h a p t e r - s i x

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ sɪx  
𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂 𝒅𝒐𝒏𝒌𝒆𝒚 𝒔𝒑𝒐𝒏𝒈𝒆 𝒄𝒂𝒌𝒆

∙

_"Don't worry, I've been arrested before. I'll get us out of this."_

When Ayato found himself in this predicament, he knew that his life had reached a point that perhaps demonstrated that his skills in interaction and finding the right people to hang out with was flawed; not that he wanted to interact in the first place, but there was now a counter to that statement that threw him for a toss. A toss that could have been assumed was a yorker in cricket slang. It left him _stumped_.

Ayato was currently glaring at you as he was made to sit beside you in a police office. The predicament he was in made him furious and that was to say the absolute least, but seeing you sitting there with a calm expression on your face, almost as if you were used to being in such a place made him wonder if you were a college student at all or if you were some sort of drug dealer.

You turned to him before blinking twice, almost cluelessly, and grinning. He wanted to break your teeth.

"You scared of the big bad cops?"

How had Ayato found himself in this situation? How had he, when he desperately wanted to be alone and avoid social interaction, found himself in a police office with you beside him and a bag that had relatively unknown contents placed right between your legs? How had this happened? More importantly, how had he let this happen?

Cut to an hour and twenty-four minutes before his current situation. Ayato was walking back home from his regular 5 p.m. class, the last class for the week. It had been a week since you had made that preposterous suggestion of fake dating, and he'd successfully avoided you for the couple of days that followed but just as he walked out that day, he spotted you glaring at a bag in front of you, placed on a bench. Ayato would have normally walked away, he normally wouldn't initiate in conversation, but maybe it was because he hadn't ever seen you in such deep thought, maybe it was because you actually did look troubled did Ayato think something severe had occurred.

But, in reality, it was because you were having a good hair day. Not that he'd ever admit that to himself.

You felt someone's presence approach you and the grin that fell on your face made him want to bolt; but he had been seen, you had gripped him with your vision and a conversation filled with ridiculous sarcasm was inevitable. You folded your arms before tilting your head and 'hm'ing at him.

"You approach me for a conversation? I'd say that's a development."

"You look f*cking constipated."

"There we go with the French again," you said disappointingly, "I really think we can move forward from the useless swearing, Ayato-kun."

"What's in the bag?"

He didn't like beating around the bush; the fact that you were a foot away from this bag, and the fact that you weren't touching it, the fact that you were glaring at it as if it were a bag of flaming shit only confirmed that the bag was not yours. It was a brown bag, obviously could be filled with anything, contraband most likely, but why were you even around such a thing?

"Probably something that shouldn't be on a college campus." 

He knew he had to bolt from there that very second, but the fact that his legs were glued to the place he stood did little to arouse the thought in his head that maybe, just maybe, he was curious as to why you were around such a bag. He could remember Hinami's words about you so clearly in his mind as if the date happened yesterday—an event he so desperately wished to forget yet scorched the recesses of his mind for the tempest of a memory that it was.

"Why are you even standing there?"

"I'm thinking about whether I should report it or not." You said, folding your hands and biting your lower lip.

His eyes widened; No, you were not allowed to bite your lip the way you were. Not only did your hair look presentable that evening, but you were also now biting your lip that was shinier than it normally was—not that Ayato had looked at your lips before, he had perhaps grazed his eyes over them when he memorized how you looked (only because he could avoid you later on, and he could only avoid you if he knew how you looked like). Ayato then noticed the tank top you were wearing unlike the ragged sweats he had seen you in usually—were you... what were you _doing_? 

Why did you look like...

You turned to him and blinked before catching him staring. Whether you were aware of the fact that he was looking at you for more than a few seconds was beyond him because you chose to act clueless.

"What do you think I should do?"

"I..." 

It was a second later did Ayato's eyes land on a form behind you—a form that was relatively far away, and a form he had never quite encountered before. You follow his gaze and your eyes widen when you spot campus patrol not too far away, and the fact that there was an open bag of contraband that you both were around did not assist the fact that you were both standing suspiciously in the open air, without a clue on how to proceed. Thankfully, you were aware that you were with one of the most expressionless men on the planet—which made you sigh with relief, before looking up to spot Ayato's robot-like expression.

"Uh," Your heart fell, "Ayato-kun?"

"We're going to be arrested because of you." Ayato hissed before frowning, a visible sweat forming on his face.

You shook your head trying to calm him down, "No, we're not. We won't be arrested if you don't act like a moron. You're being a dead giveaway right now by holding an invisible sign that says 'arrest me', so please, calm down."

Ayato took a deep breath before glaring at you, "This is your fault."

You shrugged before saying, "Well, I didn't ask you to come and approach me."

He knew you were right. He knew that he didn't have to approach you but he had no idea that the bag you were glaring at was contraband.

"Why were you glaring at a bag that's got drugs?" 

Maybe, Ayato didn't realize he could be loud when he's angry. It was when your eyes widened comically did Ayato want to slap himself on the mouth, but apparently the campus patrol that was just a few feet away did not want to ignore you two anymore since the word 'drugs' came out of one of you. If you were getting arrested that night, it was simply because of Ayato.

When you slapped your forehead because of him instead of him slapping his because of you, Ayato knew that he made a lot of mistakes. 

Which led to where you were, the campus police office, with the police officer having gone inside to bring out a notepad before he could speak to you. While Ayato had only grown up seeing movies where interrogations go south in such a way that made it seem almost fictional, you say you had been arrested before made it worse. He didn't know what to believe, were the movies accurate? Or were you?

He didn't spot you sneaking into the bag before cussing out loud and standing up, turning to the sky before letting out a loud sigh—alerting the other administrative staff that you were doing what you were doing. When one of them gave you a look, you returned it with an even expression before noticing the officer coming toward both of you.

"What's in the bag?" He asked, before hearing you snort.

Ayato wanted to slap you. Or himself. Whatever that brought him to this situation. The officer did not look pleased with how nonchalant you had been; or how you had refused to tell him what was in the bag the first five times he had asked you back in campus. Ayato knew that it was because you didn't know, but he didn't understand why you didn't take a peek and just tell the person that the bag didn't belong to you.

 _Oh right_ , Ayato nodded internally, _That's what everyone says._

"Do you have a problem with my question, miss?"

Ayato wasn't essentially scared, he knew he could walk out of this situation by just saying he didn't know you. Or maybe, a lot of people did that and the excuse wouldn't work. He cussed internally again.

"If you want to know what's inside the bag, why not take a little peak?"

Ayato's eyes widened before noticing you grab the brown bag before bringing it up and almost shoving it to the officer's face. His facial expression changed from surprised to bored in a fraction of a second, before he let out the longest sigh Ayato had ever heard an officer make. He got up and brushed his hand before saying the few words Ayato never knew would make him so happy.

"Get out of here, kids. Wasting our time like this."

When you led Ayato outside, and you stretched your hands before bringing them down and turning to him with a cheeky grin, he once again felt the urge to slap something.

"What the f*ck just happened?"

"Now that scenario required a swear word, I'll give you that," You said, before shrugging, "Should have just taken a look inside the bag before the officer dragged us all the way here."

"No shit," Ayato snapped, "What the f*ck was in the bag?"

For a few seconds, it seemed as if you didn't want to answer. You were staring at the ground before shoving the bag toward Ayato, which made his eyes widen once he noticed the contents inside the bag.

"Marshmallows?" He said, disbelievingly, "What the f—"

"What the f*ck indeed," Ayato's eyes widened at your words, "I've been feeding a donkey some sponge cake."

He had no idea what you had just said but Ayato couldn't ignore the way your expression fell. He couldn't ignore the way you just forgot about the bag of marshmallows and left him behind there, and walked ahead, your shoulders slagging. You sighed as if you hadn't slept for two days but maybe you had, and maybe that's why you looked decent. He rushed toward you before standing in front of you, demanding an answer with just his face.

You looked at him and blinked twice. A signature move of yours, really. You slowly grin because even tiredness looked good on you. Ayato then thought about your appearance and why you looked so presentable. Was there a reason? Was something going on?

"Wanna go out on a date?" You asked, "Heck, I even look the part, so..." 

Ayato's eyes widened and his heart crashed.

Someone had stood you up.


	8. c h a p t e r - s e v e n

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ sᴇᴠᴇɴ  
 **𝒈𝒊𝒗𝒆 𝒎𝒆 𝒂 𝒑𝒖𝒎𝒑𝒌𝒊𝒏**

∙

He wasn't entirely sure if it was sympathy that led him to his current predicament, but the two of you—Ayato and yourself—were on the strangest 'date' (if he could call it that) he had ever heard of. Of course, it was Ayato's third ever date in his entire life, not that he was ashamed of that number, it just didn't matter to him. You were guiding him toward a street filled with food stalls, which apparently opened up after 7 p.m. and you looked like you knew the streets like the back of your hand. 

The real question Ayato wanted to ask you was about the person who had stood you up. Did someone stand you up at all or was it just him assuming things about you? The lack of clear information drove him nuts.

"I was supposed to meet this person I was talking to," You said, now holding a box of steaming hot takoyaki, "We had this... inner joke thing going on. About leaving a bag of marshmallows thinking its contraband. Strangest inside joke ever, right?"

There was no way he'd respond to something so silly, but Ayato couldn't look away from you. You wore this... air of confidence on you, as if the standing up happened to someone else; as if the entire ordeal didn't faze you in the slightest—he wondered if you were just confident or if, as Hinami had mentioned, you were like him and just plain nonchalant?

"So he left a bag of marshmallows on the bench..." Ayato said, raising his eyebrows.

"He gave me a pumpkin and buzzed off, basically," You snort, with a takoyaki in your mouth. "Worst way to stand someone up is when you put an effort into it to make it seem elaborate. I mean, if he planned on being a no-show, why would he bother with the marshmallows at all, right?"

Ayato frowned, "Right..."

 _Gave you a pumpkin? What the f*ck is she on about?_ Ayato thought, unable to understand if what you had said was an idiom or a jargon or whatever the shit that came out of your mouth was legible. _Who's the French speaker now, f*cking moron._

"Want some?" You push forward the box toward him and noticed him flinch. 

He shook his head before muttering a soft 'no thanks', before looking away. He clearly looked uncomfortable, but at the same time, it was just natural to stand there with him. Suddenly, silence enveloped you two—and you wanted to laugh because there was no need to keep building words with him. The lack of forced wordplay kept you at bay as if there was no need to remind yourself that you were uncommon; because here stood a boy just as uncommon as you.

"Didn't think you'd actually join me while I ate away at my lack of a date." You giggled and heard Ayato scoff.

"I was hoping you'd cry,"

Your eyes widen comically before laughing, nudging him just a bit playfully. You noticed a smirk settle on his features before he folded his arms and continued.

"Too bad that didn't happen," He said, "Maybe the guy wasn't all that."

Your eyes twinkled as if you received an opening, "Well, he's not _you_ , I'll give you that."

Ayato's eyes widened before he frowned instantaneously; earning a mocking laugh from your end. You noticed how visibly uncomfortable he got with the slightest amount of flirting, and how much he despised it because he hadn't been used to women openly hitting on him.

"You aren't in high school anymore, Ayato-kun." You say.

He frowned, "What the f*ck does _that_ mean?"

You shrugged before casually letting out, "Well, girls aren't gonna just sit around and stare at you from behind walls and in class. They're gonna hit on you out in the open like me."

"You had another date. I'm not special. So don't make it seem like—"

"Aww, do you want me to keep you as my 'one and only'?" 

Ayato wanted to scream and shove a fork in your eyeballs. But the calmness that he maintained on the exterior impressed him. He was truly the master of his anger.

"He and I... Well, we go back. It's funny. I'll tell you sometime. Why taint a comical masterpiece of a night with unnecessary noir, right?"

He didn't like that about you. Ayato didn't like a lot of things about you, he doesn't know why he bothers sugar-coating that fact at all, but the biggest thing he would say he disliked would be how easily you brushed off things. How unimpressive you made things seem—things that would normally make people collapse and question their self-worth. Did you really have so much confidence that this couldn't possibly bring you down? Or were you so deep in shit that your defense mechanisms had rid you the ability to feel certain emotions because if you did, you'd legit break?

He didn't realize he was holding his breath and just staring at you.

"You should eat something," You said, "This is a date, after all."

He scoffed, "Nope. Not a date. Just wanted to see you bawl after the guy stood you up. My bad that you don't actually have emotions."

"It's quite ridiculous that you think that." You almost snap.

Ayato froze for a second at your tone. He watched you for any signs of hurt, any signs that what he had said had crossed the line, but what he saw was a person digging their face into takoyaki gravy, shamelessly going to lick their fingers in a way that wouldn't seem too inappropriate. 

"I..." 

Ayato had no words. He didn't need to apologize, he didn't know you. But the fact that he felt the need to do it confused him.

"I could be breaking but there's no way I'd let Mr. Hot Guy know about it. Besides, crying'll ruin my makeup."

 _You're not wearing any_ , he thought but didn't say. He quickly remembered what Touka had said to him long ago when he was an angry adolescent, confused with the world. His sister had told him just before she left for University that Ayato and their father shared a trait that would inevitably bring them down to their knees at the rarest sight of broken human behavior. 

Unbridled compassion.

"I really didn't want to go see Hinami," Ayato said, rubbing the back of his neck, "I went anyway."

You blinked at him, wondering if this was his way of consoling you. You were surprised, to say the least. Ayato wasn't meeting your gaze, but his words were loud enough and clear enough that it resonated with your core.

"No matter how much you know this douchebag, it's not fair to you." 

If Ayato had met your eyes right then, he'd have got what he came for. But, he didn't. You didn't know if he knew your eyes were filled with tears, but the fact that he didn't look made you happy. You let out a laugh before blinking the tears away like the pro that you were before turning to spot an eatery stall at the end of the street.

"Do you like Turkish coffee?"

Ayato had never tried it, but 'coffee' alerted his ears. He turned to you with an almost pleased expression; the most that he could manage. You look up at him before grinning like a moron.

"Omer's coffee house is out of this world. Let's go."

Ayato smirked, "You really want this date, don't you?"

You scoffed, almost feeling ridiculous, "Have you seen you? Don't make me plaster a mirror to my face."

He rolled his eyes before following you, "I'd like to see that."

"Sure you would," You grumble, "Anything that would cover my ugly face, right?"

Ayato turned to look at you as you watched ahead, toward Omer's coffee house. His expression was calm, and not a soul could have said what was running through his mind. But, if someone knew Ayato really well, someone who could read expressions and understand them, they would know instantly that Ayato just thought one thing.

_It's not ugly._

*

When he returned home, Ayato spotted Touka on the couch, typing away at something. He let out a breath before wondering if he had to tell her that he went out with you, but since it wasn't a date, since it had nothing to do with anything on the same scale as romance, he didn't want to budge. If he told Touka about having Turkish coffee with you, then he'd have to tell her about being questioned by the campus police, and he didn't want another lecture.

He quietly walked to his room, full from the coffee and the one last takoyaki that you had so forcefully shoved into his face. Lying down on his bed, he let out a sigh before craning his neck against the pillow. 

What a long day it had been. He planned on returning early and watching the rest of the movie he had been seeing, some movie about some guy that was depressed and set in the 60s. 

Suddenly sitting up, Ayato frowned to himself; he blinked twice before trying to recall what it was. Reaching out for his laptop, he quickly opened the search browser before typing in the sentence and seeing what showed up. His eyes widened before a chuckle escaped his lips at the way the words had so effortlessly left your lips earlier as if this was how you normally talk.

In jargon and idioms from a land far away.

To give someone a pumpkin meant to stand them up. Ayato mentally made a note never to mention pumpkins around you; not that they were a terrible fruit or because they were considered anti-aphrodisiacs, but simply because maybe, just maybe, he didn't want to remind you of a guy you chose over him instead.

 _F*ck that_ , he thought before shutting his laptop screen and groaning. _She's a f*cking nuisance either way, and bad things can happen to nuisances too._

_"Ooh, didn't mama ever tell you not to swear?"_

_"Well, pardon my French and leave me the f*ck alone."_

_You try to control your laughter as you say, "You know you can communicate without the need to rely on swears so much, right?"_

Ayato chuckled before closing his eyes, finding it all almost ridiculous. 

When Touka walked past her brother's room almost an hour later, she grimaced at how there was an eerie smile on Ayato's face as he slept. Closing the door behind her, she didn't want to think if it was a wet dream or a dream of living in a world without people that made him smile. Little did she know it was simply because of a girl he had swiped left on that had done the trick.


End file.
